Hello:

A few seasons ago, Alex Taft and his father, Rick, were watching a White Sox game and as Jose Valentin strolled up to the plater, Rick commented "My, he's a handsome man!" This is hilarious for many reasons, mostly because Jose Valentin isn't a particularly great looking man; he's got what looks to be a meticulously groomed moustache. Nevertheless, Taft, Mark Shelley and I then took this concept of a "Handsome Man" as ballplayer and tried to expound it to a full team. Unfortunately, the original was only one team, and I've since decided to expand it to be both NL and AL.

My first draft of the Handsome Man team was posted on my Livejournal and got several comments and suggestions as to how to formulate the team. As well, I recently discussed the Handsome Man team with what I will call the Handsome Man Advisory Board, consisting of Alison Adams, Parker Tracey, Matt Conbeer and Taft. I will also, if need be, contact Mark Shelley for his opinion and will heed it. (If you find it odd that the HMAB is all straight men, save for one straight woman, you are not alone)

Because the first posting of the Handsome Man team was from All Star ballots, it did not include benches, managers or pitching staffs. With the help of the HMAB, I have worked out a rough draft of these things, but they may change.

Overall, the team is hard to pick, because it becomes like the Gold Gloves. A lot of people have ideas as to what is good defense, but there really isn't a definitive stat. And, most Gold Glove voters vote for stars anyway, so the unsung defensive wizards don't tend to be recognized.

The same goes for the Handsome Man team. It is mainly stars and nearly everyone's opinion of "handsome" is different. Nevertheless, I think we did a good job.

(Click on each player's name for ESPN.com's Jumbotron/Media guide photo of each player)

The Handsome Man team:

Second Base: A. Kennedy, ANA
There are only three good-looking contenders for most handsome AL second baseman, but Kennedy barely takes the title over Orlando Hudson and Jerry Hairston. Hudson may win next year, I can't think of an overwhelming reason that he's better looking than Kennedy (even though he wears a Little League helmet) and Hairston has a serious monobrow. (Kennedy's photo does not do him justice. He looks like he's been on a heroin bender in that photo)

Third Base: E. Chavez, OAK
Like second base, third base is a very good-looking position. Three of the best-looking men in baseball play this position: A-Rod, Chavez and Troy Glaus. I had to go with Chavez because he a) isn't in People's "50 Most Beautiful People" and b) he's probably going to play the rest of the year. Also, he's got the best pompadour in baseball, by far.

Shortstop: J. Valentin, CWS
I was mistaken in my original selection of Nomar Garciaparra and have moved Garciapparra to the bench. Taft has pointed out to me that Jose Valentin, being the namesake of this team, MUST be the starting shortstop. This was reinforced at a recent Sox game, as his moustache was in full force (and he hit a home run).

Catcher: J. Lopez, BAL
Javy Lopez is a wonderfully handsome man and becomes the captain of the AL Handsome Man team. A lot of these positions have one handsome man and lots of ugly ones. In fact, last year, the Handsome Man team was pretty bereft of AL catchers. This year, thanks to J-Lo switching leagues, Lopez rules the position.

Outfielder: I. Suzuki, SEA
Outfielder: J. Cruz, Jr, TB
Outfielder: M. Ordonez, CWS
This was the most difficult hitting position to choose (pitching staffs, by their bulk, were more difficult). There are very few handsome men patrolling the grass in the AL. I went with two handsome men and a guy my mom thinks is handsome. Ichiro! and Cruz are both good-looking and Ordonez is handsome, according to my mother (she met him last year and was quite smitten). Really, none of these three would be on the National League's bench, no less starting.

Bench: A. Rodriguez, NYY
Bench: N. Garciaparra, BOS
Bench: E. Karros, OAK
Bench: F. Catalanotto, TOR
Bench: V. Martinez, CLE
Bench: C. Beltran, KC
The bench for the American League was relatively easy to construct, in fact, the glut of handsome infielders in the American League meant famous Handsome Men Derek Jeter and Troy Glaus had to be left off the team. Also, because of this infield glut, I decided to make the AL team have an extra bench player and a smaller pitching staff, after all, the AL does have the DH. That said, Beltran was picked largely because he's not ugly and can play a true center field (something we can't say for any other ALers). Cleveland gets its first player on the team with Victor Martinez, a possible future Handsome star.

Pitcher: M. Mulder, OAK
Pitcher: M. Mussina, NYY
Pitcher: B. Zito, OAK
Pitcher: N. Cotts, CWS
Pitcher: J. Vasquez, NYY
Pitcher: G. Meche, SEA
Pitcher: M. Batista TOR
Pitcher: T. Hudson, OAK
Pitcher: J. Santana, MIN
Pitcher: F. Rodriguez, ANA
This was easily the hardest part of the AL team to put together. Pitchers, as Taft has pointed out, do not look very good. Finding 10 guys to fill out this staff was tough, but I think there's a pretty good selection of men on the staff. Meche and Batista were put on largely because they're not ugly and Javier Vasquez is a nice-looking man. I took all three aces from Oakland. Cotts looks like he could be in a boy band and Seriously, the American League has some ugly pitchers. Mark Mulder and Mike Mussina are both clearly hearthrobs and therefore are co-aces.

Manager: E. Wedge, CLE
Admittedly, managers are impossible to pick, and therefore, we went with the youngest one in the AL.

National League
First Base: S. Green, LA
This good-looking man's only competition comes from Cub Derrek Lee. Lee is a nice-looking man, but isn't nearly as good-looking as Green. Otherwise, we're looking at goobers like Todd Helton and Jim Thome, Jason Phillips and his Rec Specs or chubbers like Nick Johnson or Sean Casey (and don't forget Jeff Bagwell's bizarre facial hair). Eric Karros used to be a big contender here, but he is now toiling as a backup in Oakland.

Second Base: T. Walker, CHI
Despite my deference to baseball writer Bill James (who called Mark Grudzielanek one of the most handsome players of the '90s), the HMAB has voted that Todd Walker is the most handsome second baseman in the NL. Second base remains a pretty non-descript position in the looks department, occupied by the Jose Vidros, Ray Durhams, Mark Lorettas and Junior Spiveys of the world. Certainly not bad-looking, but nothing to write home about. The only real ugger at the keystone is Tony "Catepillar" Womack and his out-of-control insect-like eyebrows.

Third Base: M. DeRosa, ATL
Again, this is a change due to an excellent point by aonther on the HMAB. Because of his crappy numbers, DeRosa is largely forgotten (also, he's a personal favorite of mine because he went to college at Penn, an Ivy League school). Like second base, the hot corner has little to be excited about or repulsed by. Aramis Ramirez looks like a fat child, David Bell looks like someone's unhip dad and Vinny Castilla's mullet had got to go. Shea Hillenbrand is a nice-looking man, although, the NL really could use one of the AL's big three (Glaus, A-Rod or Chavez) to hop leagues.

Shortstop: A. Gonzalez, CHI
Along with runner-up Derek Lee, the Cubs have one of the most handsome teams in MLB. In fact, they could have the most handsome team, if not for a few factors. The first being some real weird-looking men on that team. Along with Aramis Ramirez (that man has some water-weight), Carlos Zambrano and Matt Clement are both really odd-looking. Also, the A's are really a good-looking team, having one of the best-looking pitching staffs around (Zito, Hudson and Mulder are heartthrobs).

Catcher B. Ausmus, HOU
As weak the position is in the AL, catcher just as a strong position in the National League. Ausmus (also an Ivy Leaguer from Dartmouth), Ramon Hernandez and Mike Matheny are all handsome men and LoDuca isn't a bad-looking guy either.

Outfielder: C. Patterson, CHI
Outfielder: K. Griffey, Jr., CIN
Outfielder: A. Jones, ATL
Another strength of the National League is the outfield. Corey Patterson, Ken Griffey Jr. and Andruw Jones are all big-time handsome men and you could make a second team with Pat Burrell (who has a fan club called "Burrell's Girls"), Barry Bonds and several others. Really, a handsome position.

Bench: S. Hillenbrand, ARI
Bench: D. Lee, CHI
Bench: P. Burrell, PHI
Bench: B. Bonds, SF
Bench: R. Hernandez, SD
With the relateive glut of outfielders, the National League bench is constructed pretty well. In fact, I think, were this an actual game, Frank Robinson would have a lot of tools to work with. Several starters can play multiple positions (all the starting outfielders are center fielders, Green can also play a corner OF, DeRosa can play anywhere on the infield, etc.). This is similar with the bench, as Hillenbrand can also play first base, and Burrell can spot at third (he was a third baseman in college). Overall, a nice selection of players.

Pitcher: M. Prior, CHI
Pitcher: M. Morris, STL
Pitcher: H. Ramirez, ATL
Pitcher: D. Graves, CIN
Pitcher: J. Wright, ATL
Pitcher: A. Pettite, HOU
Pitcher: A. Marquis, STL
Pitcher: A. Otsuka, SD
Pitcher: K. Farnsworth, CHI
Pitcher: B. Tomko, SF
Pitcher: J. Jennings, COL
Finding 11 pitchers for the NL was relatively difficult, but not impossible. Like the AL, there is a lot of awful facial hair in the NL. There isn't as much utility in the pitching staff as there is on the bench, but the pitching staff is solid, if unspectacular. The AL staff is quite obviously better, but Prior, Pettite and Morris are certainly no slouches.

Manager: F. Robinson, MON
We really had trouble finding a manager for the National League. After much discussion, Frank Robinson was chosen because he looks "Granfatherly," and is a Hall-of-Famer. Really, look who he's up against. Art Howe is "lumpy" said one member of the HMAB. Bobby Cox is oddly shaped. Clint Hurdle is fat. I could go on, but I'll stop. The point is: managers are ugly.

There it is. I think the American League could handle the National League pretty easily, if given the chance.

Any suggestions, questions and comments are welcome.